Welcome

Seriously.Put $5 million in front me and tell me it’s mine if I knock back some martinis and I will walk away. Every. Single. Time.

It wasn’t always like that though…

Once upon a time, I used to sooth my exhausted frazzled nervous system with copious amounts of sauvignon blanc.  Like, enough to float a barge down the Detroit river and be mightily embarrassed every time I hauled my recycling bin out to the curb. 

It was…not the best time period of my life by a long shot. 

Looking back now, I realize that not only was vino not the solution, it was actually exacerbating the very emotional, mental, and physical symptoms I was trying to get relief from.

As a highly sensitive person, an empath, and a Human Design Projector how the hell I ever managed to forge a multi-year relationship with binge drinking is beyond me. 

Ruined sleep, weight gain, depression, rebound anxiety, etc. should have made it all clear to me that what I was doing was not only NOT working, it was digging me further into a hole that I did not want to be in. 

If I could go back and tell 2015 Elena, it would be this: You are wired very very differently, not just physically, but emotionally and energetically. The sooner you start to spend time remembering and reclaiming yourself, the sooner you will get out of this hole for good.

Decades of doing the “I’m just like everyone else” song and dance routine had left me woefully out of touch with my soul. 

I had achieved a lot of success in my career, but the stress and exhaustion from trying to keep up with hustle culture took a huge toll. 

Basically, everything I was doing (and criticizing myself for not doing well enough) was the exact opposite of what I should have been doing. 

And alcohol, being one of the greatest marketing scams in the history of marketing scams, was there to convince me that it could solve my problems. 

But it never did. 

What I wish I’d done instead?

Find a less stressful job. Find a therapist (turns out my late father was a narcissist, which explained oh so much about my self-worth issues). Start somatic body practices to bring me back in touch with myself. Go for walks outside. Eat better-ish (I’ve never met a cinnamon roll recipe I don’t want to test out). Reconnect and strengthen relationships with my family and old friends. 

Sometimes I look back and the regret washes over me like a massive wave. Time lost. Connections that slipped away. Embarrassing moments that still make me cringe. 

But then I remember that as a human, I get to make mistakes and learn from them. And I am grateful I did learn to put into practice what I listed above before any lasting harm was done (seriously, if my liver could have left me on the side of the road I would not have blamed her). 

If you’re on the fence with your favorite coping mechanism or habit, be it wine or something else, know that if you’re questioning it, it’s probably because on some level you know it’s time to bid “adieu” to it. 

And the other side of the fence? The one without the sauvignon blanc bottles (or whatever your crutch is)  in the recycling bin? It’s a much more relaxing and pleasant place to be. 

Trust me. 

You are worth more than just coping with life. You are worthy of thriving. 

Hugs, 

Elena